Monday, April 29, 2013

The Beginning...

It was April 17th, 2013. The day of my husband's appointment with his cardiologist. Just about 4 months since the appointment that rocked our world. After his December cardiac-stress test, followed by his angiogram, and subsequent bypass surgery, I realized that we weren't as young as we felt.

I have always resisted any type of systematized exercise routine. Much like my father, who is in End Stage Renal Disease(ESRD) and on dialysis, we both hate to "exercise". I know it is helpful. I know it prolongs life. I know I should do it... but at 59 years, I have to admit... I know I just hate the idea of it! So, even though my husband, who faithfully exercised, and subsequently had 6 bypasses, I knew I was genetically on borrowed time.

My mother has osteoporosis and high blood pressure (preventable by exercise). My father has ESRD and arteriosclerosis (also preventable by exercise). And I was developing high blood pressure and osteopenia, (both preventable by exercise) was faced with a decision.... "To be or not to be..."

I just couldn't do it... just couldn't get the motivation to jump on my husband's treadmill , or lift weights, or do anything my primary care provider suggested. Everything inside of me shouted... "NO! I WON'T DO IT", just like a spoiled child, my abhorrent reaction to exercise was visceral and controlling.

Then something changed....

A friend and colleague invited me to join her on a hike in the Italian Alps, in celebration of her friend's 60th birthday... that invitation altered my trajectory. I would also turn 60 this year. I had never been to Europe and loved the idea of going with her to explore a country that I have only dreamed about. I liked to hike and take in the scenery, and couldn't imagine what that might be like - hiking in the Alps. Something "sparked". I love Italian wine. I like meeting new people. I love new experiences and learning new things. For the first time, I could envision myself doing something physical and enjoying it - actually doing it - hiking the Alps!

But... the 10 miles a day, 3000 ft changes in elevation, advise from friends (who really know me) and the time of year (busy time at work) were all barriers for me. The reality was... I was not "fit" to do something that really excited my imagination and fulfilled some of my dreams. I had to admit that I was a 59 year old slug, with no stamina and little will - and that would rob me of some great opportunities. I remember thinking, "If I don't do this... I never will." Wow... will this be my life?

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